...And the Geek Shall Inherit the Earth

Monday, June 05, 2006

Box Office Analysis: The Break-Up breaks up the X-Men.

Well, ladies and gents, the honeymoon is over. There was a nice period of engagement (despite some brouhaha from some of their closest friends) when Brett Ratner signed on after the X-Men had lost two previous directors. Then the marriage was sealed when filming wrapped, and then the honeymoon arrived with a spectacular, record-breaking Memorial Day weekend box office haul.

But now, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, the honeymoon is over and grim reality has set in. The new (subpar) Vaughniston romcom/shouting match The Break-Up has dethroned X-Men: The Last Stand at the box office, leaving the not-so-merry band of mutants to lick their wounds and to try and get an annulment. These celebrity marriages, I tell you.

Everyone in the industry seems to be shocked that The Break-Up hit at #1, yet that's exactly what I expected it to do...frankly, I'm shocked that they're shocked. I knew that from the Vaughniston/Brangelina media speculation and from all of the gossip swirling around the nation, that The Break-Up would come out victorious. Yes, X3 has a huge built-in comic book fanbase (which I am a part of), but the reviews were less than stellar (despite being the lesser of the three X-movies, I still thought that it was pretty good) and the buzz has been bad for months. Basically, X3 is going to end up just like The Da Vinci Code, a "huge" movie that people go to see only so that they can have something to say about it.

Which is pretty much how The Break-Up is going to go down. The reviews are terrible, and the audience that I saw it with seemed generally receptive but ultimately unimpressed after the credits rolled. Basically, the people who wanted to see it have seen it, and those who want to use it to further ignite any kind of romance gossip have gotten their chance. The movie sucks, people are going to realize it, and the money's gonna stop flooding in.

Next week's box office champ? Cars, natch.


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